Never Give Alice Cullen Sugar
by NinjaFanpire
Summary: This is what would happen if Alice Cullen were given sugar.
1. Never Give Alice Cullen Sugar Part 1

I wrote this sometime in 2008.

Reviews and feedback are much appreciated!

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*Alice and Bella return from a day of shopping. And Bella is unusually happy and energetic.*  
Edward: "Alice, did you give Bella coffee?"  
Alice: "Well…..a little. She wasn't being very cooperative about shopping."  
Edward: "Two cups is NOT a little, Alice."  
Alice: "It is compared to what I had…"  
Edward: "Alice you didn't."  
Alice: "OH YES EDWARD YES! I DID IT, HAHA!"  
*Edward backs away from Alice.*  
Edward: "Carlisle! Alice ate 'You know what'! "  
*Carlisle enters the room*  
Carlisle: "How many Alice?"  
Alice: "Only a couple, Carlisle."  
*Alice innocently at Carlisle.*  
Edward: "Five."  
Carlisle: "ALICE!"  
Alice: "WEE!"  
Carlisle: "Oh no."  
Alice: "BELLA! LET'S GO SHOPPING AGAIN!"  
Edward: "You just got home from shopping."  
Bella: "I DON'T CARE EDWARD! ALICE LET'S GO!"  
Edward: "Bella, you hate shopping."  
Bella: "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT EDWARD? I LOVE SHOPPING! AND I LOVE YOU EDWARD!"  
*Alice grabs Bella's hand.*  
Alice: "LET'S GO BELLA!"  
*Edward and Carlisle block the door.*  
Carlisle: "No. Neither of you are going anywhere until you calm down."  
Alice: "WE HAVE A BACK DOOR, HAHA!"  
*Edward goes and blocks it. Alice picks Bella up.*  
Alice: "NO I MEAN THIS ONE!"  
*Alice jumps through the glass wall, backward, to protect Bella, and runs away!*  
Edward: "ALICE YOU-"  
*Alice pops back up in front of Edward, still holding Bella.*  
Alice: "I LIED EDWARD! HA! I REALLY HAD SEVEN! MUHAHA! I DRANK THE BLOOD OF SEVEN HUMMINGBIRDS! AND BELLA HAD FOUR CUPS OF COFFEE WITH EXTRA SHOTS!"  
*Alice runs screaming and laughing away with Bella.*  
Edward: "Carlisle….What do we DO?"  
Carlisle: "Why would Alice do this?"  
*Esme enters the room.*  
Esme: "What's going on?"  
Edward: *Seriously.* "Alice."  
Esme: "No."  
Edward: "Seven."  
Esme: *In shock.* NO!  
Edward: "And she gave Bella coffee, four cups."  
Carlisle: "Where are Rose and Emmett?"  
Rosalie: "Right here."  
Edward: "Alice. Seven."  
Rosalie: "I swear if she blows our cover-"  
Edward: "She has Bella."  
Rosalie: "So why are you still here?"  
Edward: "She gave Bella coffee."  
Emmett: "What was she thinking?"  
Carlisle: "No good can come of this. We need to find them."  
Jasper: "Find who?"  
*All stare at Jasper.*  
Jasper: "She didn't."  
Everyone: "She did."


	2. Never Give Alice Cullen Sugar Part 2

I wrote this sometime in 2008.

Reviews and feedback are much appreciated!

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Jasper: "No. Why would she do that? What was she thinking?"  
Edward: "I have no idea Jasper. But we have to stop her. Who knows what she'll do in her condition."  
Rosalie: "How should we know how to deal with this? It's never happened before!"  
Carlisle: "It has happened before. Just not as extreme as this."  
Emmett: "So what do we do?"  
Edward: "We have to go after her, now! She could hurt Bella."  
Carlisle: "Alice knows what she's doing, whether she has a sugar rush or not."  
Edward: "And how do you know that? You said so yourself that it's never been this extreme!"  
Emmett: "So let's go, now! It's not like she's an enemy! We don't need strategy! It'll be easy to track her."  
Edward: "Then what are we still doing here! Come on Jasper!"  
Emmett: "I'm going to stay with Rose. You guys got this. It's only Alice."  
Edward: "With a huge amount of sugar in her system."  
Jasper: "Let's just go Edward! There's no telling what she'll do!"  
*Jasper and Edward exit through the broken window*  
Edward: "Where the heck is she going?"  
Jasper: "Who cares, let's just find her!"  
Edward: "What do we do once we find her?"  
Jasper: "When we find her then we'll know!"  
*They come upon Alice in the meadow. She is holding Bella close and her eyes are wild.*  
Jasper: "Alice, just calm down."  
Edward: "Alice...What are you doing?"  
Alice: "EDWARD! I'M GOING TO CHANGE BELLA INTO A VAMPIRE!"  
Edward: "Alice, don't."  
Alice: "IT'S OKAY EDWARD! I CAN DO IT!"  
Jasper: "It's not working Edward! I can't calm her down. She can't be stopped!"  
*Edward takes a step toward Alice. Alice opens her mouth.*  
Bella: "ISN'T IT GREAT EDWARD? I'M GOING TO BE LIKE YOU!"  
Jasper: "Alice stop!"  
Alice: "BELLA GETS WHAT BELLA WANTS!"  
Bella: "YA EDWARDO!"  
*Edward reaches Alice and grabs Bella. Jasper comes from behind and grabs Alice.*  
Alice: "WAIT I'M NOT DONE YET! JUST LET ME TASTE IT!"  
Bella: "EDWARD I LOVE YOU! MAKE ME A VAMPIRE NOW!"  
Edward: "Bella, you need to calm down too."  
Bella: "TALK TO ME MORE EDWARD! I LOVE YOUR VOICE!"  
Edward: "I know you do Bella. Now, come with me and we'll go back to my house."  
Bella: "I LOVE YOUR HOUSE EDWARD!"  
Alice: "JASPER! JASPER JASPER JASPER JASPER JAAASSSSPPPEEEERRRRR!"  
Jasper: "Um...Yes Alice?"  
Alice: "WHERE ARE EDWARD AND BELLA GOING?"  
Jasper: "Home. And that's where we're going too."  
Alice: "OH GOOD! THEN I CAN CHANGE BELLA INTO A VAMPIRE AND EVERYONE CAN WATCH!"  
Jasper: "Sure thing Alice. Whatever you say. Let's just get home, okay?"  
Alice: "OKAY JASPER, OKAY! AND THEN, AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN! WE CAN GO HUNTING."  
Jasper: "That sounds good Alice."  
Alice: "FOR HUMMINGBIRDS!"  
Jasper: "No Alice. No more hunting for hummingbirds!"  
Alice: "BUT THEY ARE SO TASTY!"  
Jasper: We'll talk about it later, dear.  
Alice: "OKAY!"  
Bella: "EDWARD!"  
Edward: "Bella, I think you just need to stop talking and relax. Jasper, a little help?"  
Jasper: "I'm trying, for both of them. It should start working with Bella, but I doubt we'll be able to do anything about Alice."  
Edward: "Well just keep trying."  
Jasper: "Believe me, I am."  
*The group heads home without further incident. Bella wakes up with a massive caffeine overhang, and Alice calms down to her usual eccentric self.*


End file.
